START WHERE YOU ARE: BREAK FREE FROM "ALL OF NOTHING"
Why Busy Dads Struggle with the “All or Nothing” Mindset
If you’re a dad juggling work, family, and a never-ending to-do list, you’ve probably told yourself:
“If I can’t work out for an hour, it’s not worth it.”
“I already ate fast food today, so I’ll just restart Monday.”
“Life’s too chaotic right now—I’ll wait until things calm down.”
This is the classic all-or-nothing trap—and it’s one of the biggest reasons dads stay stuck.
The reality? Waiting for perfect conditions keeps you from making any progress at all.
Why Perfection Doesn’t Work
The all-or-nothing approach feels motivating at first. But as soon as life throws curveballs (kids’ schedules, long workdays, unexpected stress) it collapses.
Research from the American Psychological Association shows that perfectionism is tied to higher stress and burnout (APA, 2019). That means chasing “perfect” isn’t just unrealistic, it’s actually harmful.
Progress Over Perfection: The Mindset Shift You Need
Here’s the mindset shift that changes everything:
👉 Stop asking: “Did I do everything perfectly today?”
👉 Start asking: “Did I do one thing better than yesterday?”
Small, consistent actions are what create long-term change.
A 20-minute workout is better than none.
Choosing water over soda is a win.
Going to bed 30 minutes earlier counts.
A study in the European Journal of Social Psychology found that habits take an average of 66 days to stick (Lally et al., 2010). That means sustainable results don’t come from doing everything at once, they come from building small wins that add up.
Start Where You Are (Not Where You “Should Be”)
You don’t need the perfect routine, perfect diet, or perfect time. You just need to start where you are.
Short on time? Do push-ups or squats while your kids are getting ready for school.
On a budget? Stick with affordable staples like eggs, beans, rice, and frozen veggies.
Too tired for a full workout? Stretch or walk for five minutes before bed.
It’s not about doing everything, it’s about doing something.
A Message for Overwhelmed Dads
Your kids don’t need a perfect dad. They need a present one.
They need a dad who’s strong enough to play with them, confident enough to set an example, and healthy enough to be around for the long haul.
That starts with breaking free from the all-or-nothing trap.
Choose progress. Start where you are. Do what you can today, then repeat.
That’s how real, lasting change is built.
References
American Psychological Association. (2019). Perfectionism is increasing over time: Study finds perfectionism among college students increased from the 1980s to 2016. Link
Lally, P., van Jaarsveld, C. H., Potts, H. W., & Wardle, J. (2010). How are habits formed: Modelling habit formation in the real world. European Journal of Social Psychology, 40(6), 998–1009.
